The return

I don’t know that I’ve ever intentionally taken a blogging break. I know some much better bloggers than I who will announce, “You know, life’s gonna get kinda busy. See you on the other side!” I’m stubborn, it’s true, but I’m also not stubborn enough to keep blogging when things are too hard. So I took a break and it was probably for the best, but I’m back now and thrilled to be here.

Unfortunately for my pride, the last time I was blogging regularly I was telling you about how I was going to blog more, not significantly less. I had just started a new job and I had it in my head that job = structure = more designated blogging time! This is my first real 9-5 job, plus an hour commute on both sides. I’m out of the apartment for at least 10 hours a day, if not more. Somehow, in my silly naive head, I kept thinking that this would mean that I would structure my time better. That I wouldn’t find myself struggling to blog out of laziness, because I would only have 3 hours a night! So, clearly, blogging would take up one of those hours. Right guys? Right?

I’m sure there were some of you who were too polite to wonder at my logic publicly, but might have done a little head shaking and chuckling to yourselves. I do that now when I think back to my thought process those short two months ago. The reality is that I would come home bone tired most days. I don’t want this to sound like whining, because it’s not. I’m eternally grateful for my job and I really love it, but I don’t think I was prepared for how hard the transition would be. It’s not like I haven’t had long hours before, I have. I was in school, I had two jobs. That’s a lot of hours, but they were flexible and they were, mostly, on my terms. It’s different now, but in many ways it’s nice. I leave my work at work and there’s no more working on the weekends. I’ll admit, though, there’s just been a lot of change recently. Slowly, I’m starting to feel like myself again, but for a while I was just tired all the time.

It’s hard to admit that. It’s hard to admit that when everything is going right, you can still feel so tired. So I did what I needed to do to feel relaxed when I got home – I cooked dinner, I spent time with Z, I talked to friends on the phone, I read, I watched some television. Some nights I went to bed at 8:30. Really.

I’ve missed blogging. I’ve missed the simple act of talking about books and, most of all, you. I’ve joined a book club. I’ve been reading plenty. I’ve got plenty of blog posts to think about and write. Now, I’m starting to come home and feel energized, ready to do something, and that’s a huge change. I’ve spoken to a few other friends who left grad school last year who said the same thing – the transition is hard, but you get over it. Maybe that’s true of any change – for a while it consumes you, but it will, I promise, spit the real you back out eventually.

So I’m sorry, readers, that I promised you something I wasn’t ready for, but I’m not sorry I took a break. The blogging that I did do during the past two months was mediocre (or scheduled very long ago), and it’s better if I’m feeling tired of it or too busy if I just let the blog stay quiet for a while. Sometimes I think that promising to do something on the blog makes me more likely to fail in some kind of backwards self-fulfilling prophecy, but maybe it was just bad timing. I’m feeling a little superstitious about it right now, so I think I’ll just say that there are some things in the works and they are great things and I will talk about them more when I can, but for now, let’s just get back to normal blogging. To posting when I can (hopefully more than once a week), to writing posts I’m proud of, to getting the conversation started.


10 thoughts on “The return

  1. Oh, I so sympathize. I am in the same situation, and my blogging has been terribly irregular this year. :/ I keep vanishing for several weeks until my mother starts asking why I don’t post anymore. I may yet take a formal blogging break, except I’m afraid if I left I wouldn’t ever find a time to come back. And I do love the book blogging community and don’t want to leave it.

  2. Lu, even if you can’t post often, I’m just glad that you’re around. Life gets busy and you have to take a break sometimes. I’ve taken plenty of breaks from blogging this year. You feel guilty at first but come back feeling so refreshed. I can’t wait to start reading your posts again. Take care of yourself.

  3. I ve let my blog slip this year terribly I took a break last week to get my head straight with it all end of day a blog is yours to do what you want with but I think breaks tend to bring back the desire to blog ,all the best stu

  4. Glad you’re back, Lu! It’s been a long time since I had a full-time job as well, so I probably would have thought the same thing going in. I’m glad the tiredness is starting to go away, and it sounds like you’re still enjoying your job? I hope! 🙂

  5. Congrats on being so self-aware and thoughtful about your return. Without any big transitions like finishing school/starting a new job, I have been similarly overwhelmed by the thought of adding blogging to my too-full days. The blog has really suffered, but I haven’t suffered from taking some time away unintentionally; my only problem now is like Jenny mentioned: I’m considering not blogging anymore. I’ve never been the most regular of bloggers anyway, but it’s starting to feel like an obligation, and Lord knows, I’ve got enough of those. Anyway, welcome back. And thanks for the honesty and genuine reflection. It is so refreshing.

  6. I had the same feeling when I finished school and started work, and then when I switched jobs, always thinking the new environment and structure would make blogging easier, not harder. But really, some nights all I want to do is watch television… not blog, not write, not read, just veg out.

    One thing that has helped is trying to resist the urge to just stop as soon as I get home. If I try to do something right away when I’m home from work — laundry, dishes, blog — I can make myself productive for awhile. But if I start right in on tv or whatever, I have a hard time pulling myself back to productive things. That might just be me though 🙂

  7. No problem, Hon’. No expectations – only good thoughts for you being on the right path for you right now. Things will fall into place. 🙂

  8. Eh, blogging breaks happen. Full-time work is LOT of hours; I don’t think we Americans acknowledge enough how much a “regular work week” takes out of a person. Glad to see you back and will look forward to reading however many posts you feel able to write. 🙂

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