TSS – I love school, right?

Hello, everyone!  I think this post will eventually be about books, so bear with me.  Or skip to the part about books and call it a Sunday morning.  I’m sure everyone is plenty exhausted from yesterday’s Readathon and while I’m sad that I didn’t get to participate this year, it’s probably best for my brain that I didn’t.  As quiet as things have been at Regular Rumination the past few weeks, they’re only going to get quieter because there are only about four weeks of school left, which means finals.

I don’t talk about graduate school here very often, I’m not sure why.  It has to do with books, right?  You guys like books, I like books, but I never have very much to tell you about what I’m doing.  You know I’m writing my thesis on 2666, you might know that I’m currently rereading it for class (posts on that to follow).  Probably most people go into graduate school with some kind of idea of what they’re doing; I went to graduate school because I had (have) no idea what else to do.  When people ask my parents what I’m doing, they tell them I’m a professional student and I’m really not all that disappointed to be one.

I’ve thought of a lot of professional careers and I’ve had all the majors to prove it.  Once in my life I wanted to be a novelist, so I was an English major.  Then I decided to be an English professor, novelist on the side.  Then I wanted to be a linguist.  Then an English as a Second Language teacher.  Non-profit director!  High school Spanish teacher!  Librarian! Then I just wanted to read books in Spanish and be a poet on the side.  But no one pays you to do that.   I wish I had some direction right now, but all I’m trying to do is get through this semester.  There is a point in every semester when I sit down and am panicked at how much I have to do and how little time I have to do it and this is it.

Why can’t someone just pay me to have a book blog?

I’m actually very excited about my finals this semester.  I’m going to try and balance out the work, so I don’t end up running completely up to the last minute like I did in the fall.  I’m writing two linguistics finals and one literature final.  One of my linguistics finals is about the subjunctive tense and the other is sociolinguistics and it’s the use of accents in comedy in Spanish speaking countries.  My lit paper is on 2666 and will hopefully be part of a chapter for my thesis.

For that paper, I’m rereading 2666 right now and what is it about reading a book for school that makes it seem like such a chore?  I loved 2666, but rereading the first two parts was not fun.  Fortunately, things picked up during the third part.  I think because the first time around I really hated reading it and this time I actually see the point of it.  Thinking of it in the context of the border really helped me understand its purpose and I enjoyed reading it, unlike last time where I was so repulsed by it.  I’m still disgusted by a lot of what happens in the Part About Fate, but at least it feels integral to the novel.  I have so many questions and not a lot of answers.  I have a lot of thoughts, but not a lot of concrete ideas or any ways to prove them.  I’ve been slowly formulating ideas.

So thanks for listening to me whine a little about having no direction in life and having to write papers!  I know it’s silly and there are much bigger things to worry about in the world, but at least you know why things have been pretty quiet around here!

I didn’t get a chance to finish any of my Octavio Paz books for March (go figure), but I’m still working on them slowly.  Maybe you did better than me!  Did you read any Ocatvio Paz books?  Leave a link to your post in the comments section and I will add them here.

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13 thoughts on “TSS – I love school, right?

  1. I know the feeling you’re talking about so well, Lu. I spend all of my early twenties feeling like that. And I STILL wish I could just be a professional student 😛 It’s clichéd to say you’ll find something that feels right, I know…but I honestly think you will.

    1. Amanda,

      I wish I had some idea, but right now anything is possible. And I guess that is equal parts wonderful and terrifying.

  2. God, I love this post! I have some direction in life but not much. I’ve been changing my major back and forth, trying to figure out what I want in life and alternative routes of getting there. Though I haven ‘t read it yet, I can imagine the first parts of 2666 not being the happiest thing to do. I feel like a professional student too all the time. One day we’re going to look back at these years in school and be so happy, we’re done. Good luck with finals. 🙂

  3. “Why can’t someone just pay me to have a book blog?” I’m in grad school and I currently cannot escape feeling this way. It is sort of nice knowing that there are others feeling the same. I hope you soon see pieces falling into place in your research.

  4. Ha, I have BEEN YOU. 😛 Actually I am still sort of trying to figure out what direction I’m going in, so my best advice at this point is very cliche but true: Listen to your heart, and respect your own experiences. If you experience something as miserable, it’s all wrong for you, so go do something different as soon as you can.

  5. I, too, have been where you are. Fairly uncomfortable, if also rewarding. But also, based on your 9/11-related post you are what? 21? You are SUPPOSED to be at loose ends, really. I don’t trust people who have it all figured out that young (well, ok, that’s a huge overgeneralization, but there is a seed of truth). 🙂

  6. There is something appealing about being a professional student, that’s for sure. But you’ll figure out what you want to do besides that. Maybe it’ll be to be a professor, which is sort of like being a student forever 🙂

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